


Way Manor Has Unusually Large Beds (But Not The Song, Coda #6)

by emilyray (emilyenrose), ignipes



Series: But Not The Song [7]
Category: Bandom
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-11-27
Updated: 2008-11-27
Packaged: 2017-10-16 02:09:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyenrose/pseuds/emilyray, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ignipes/pseuds/ignipes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Jon wakes up to find Ryan gone, he's out of bed and at the door before he stops to think.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Way Manor Has Unusually Large Beds (But Not The Song, Coda #6)

_  
**Way Manor Has Unusually Large Beds (But Not The Song, Coda #6)**   
_   
[Story Index and Warnings](http://community.livejournal.com/shacklesnchains/446.html)

I hear you American types have some sort of holiday involving pie today? [](http://ignipes.livejournal.com/profile)[**ignipes**](http://ignipes.livejournal.com/) is off pie-eating, so it's left to me to post this extraordinarily sappy coda to the slavefic for you all. It's about 4000 words, and PG-rated. Happy Thursday!

 ** _Way Manor Has Unusually Large Beds_**  
_

The first time Jon wakes up to find Ryan gone, he's out of bed and at the door before he stops to think.

There are birds singing outside the open window and a pale, gray light filling the room and it's much too early for Ryan to be awake. Jon's used to being the first one up, an early riser by long habit. As soon as Ryan got used to the idea that nobody would punish him for sleeping in, he adopted the Way brothers' idea of a reasonable time to wake up, and their idea of reasonable definitely does not include before dawn.

Jon leaves the room and walks down the corridor, padding softly on bare feet. It's probably nothing, he tells himself, looking through open doorways as he passes. Nearly all of the rooms on this floor are empty, and the house feels weirdly silent and echoing with most the kids gone.

He doesn't have to look far. The door to Brendon and Spencer's room is ajar, and when Jon pushes it open to look in he sees Ryan on the bed beside Spencer, his eyes closed, his face relaxed. They're asleep, all three of them, curled together under the blanket and breathing quietly, and Jon thinks, _Oh. Of course._

He backs out and shuts the door with a gentle click.

He goes back to his own bed, but it's too big and too empty now and he can't get back to sleep. So he gets up again, wandering the corridors of the house and wishing somebody else was awake.

He goes down the long staircase and out the front door. The morning is cool and dewy, and Jon catches the scent of tobacco smoke. He looks around and see Bryar at the edge of the forest, smoking and walking slowly through the overgrown grass. Jon raises a hand in greeting but doesn't say anything. He doesn't want to disturb the morning.

He sits down on the cold stone steps and he listens to the birds and he tries not to think about how he fell asleep last night with Ryan's head on his chest, Ryan's hand twined with his. If Ryan needs... Jon gets that Ryan needs things. That's okay. Jon's okay.

-

The next time Jon wakes up to find Ryan gone, he doesn't bother to get up to look for him. But he still can't get back to sleep. He lies awake in bed and stares at the ceiling and waits for the sun to rise.

-

The fire is burning low and it's long past midnight. The four of them are in Brendon and Spencer's room, where they usually end up after a busy day when there are still things to work out, conversations to have. Jon can't remember why he came up here tonight in the first place: he wanted to ask Brendon something, and Ryan followed him, and five hours later he's still sitting cross-legged at the end of the bed, leaning on Ryan's legs.

"I don't think I would _want_ horses to be able to talk," Spencer says thoughtfully, after a few minutes of comfortable silence. He's lying down and his eyes are falling shut. When Spencer's this tired he has a habit of saying silly, nonsense things that make Ryan smile – and Ryan has a habit of encouraging him.

Ryan gives Spencer a fond, amused smile and pats his arm. "You're just afraid they would talk about you behind your back."

"They would," Spencer says. He yawns so widely his jaw cracks, and he closes his eyes and snuggles a little closer to Ryan, nudging Ryan's side until Ryan rolls his eyes and turns onto his side, wraps his arms around Spencer with his chin touching the top of Spencer's head.

Jon doesn't realize he's staring until both of them have fallen asleep, together on Spencer's side of the bed, and he's still sitting awkwardly at the foot. Brendon is leaning against the headboard, his legs stretched out before him. He nudges Jon with his toe, but when Jon looks up Brendon doesn't say anything, he just smiles a little. Sleepily, Jon smiles back and thinks about how nice it is to see all three of them smile like that, content and peaceful.

Then he thinks about opening the door that morning and finding the three of them sleeping quietly together, arms all wrapped around each other and breathing softly, and swings his legs off the bed and plants his feet on the wooden floor. "It's late," he whispers. "I should go."

Brendon looks at him, confused.

"Only to bed," Jon clarifies.

Brendon's expression doesn't change. "You can stay here," he says quietly. He lifts his hand to gesture vaguely, drops it again. "There's room."

That's debatable. It's a big bed but definitely not made for four people - but, Jon thinks, it's not like any of them have trouble sharing space. He's standing up and shaking his head before he realizes it, saying, "I don't think, I mean, I should..."

He takes a step away but Brendon moves quickly, reaches out to grab his wrist.

"Stay," Brendon says. Then, uncertainly, "Please?"

It's not a tight grip, but Jon pauses. It's hard to pull away when Brendon is looking at him like that. None of them are very good at turning Brendon down - there's nothing in the world Spencer wouldn't do if Brendon asked, Jon thinks, and Ryan's not much better - and whatever effect Brendon has on them, apparently it's catching.

Brendon whispers again, "Stay." He's looking at Jon like it'll break his heart if Jon doesn't.

Jon swallows and says, "Ryan's okay with you guys."

Brendon lets go of Jon's wrist and says, "But -" He slides off the side of the bed and suddenly he's touching Jon again, stepping in and hugging him - holding him - and he says, "But what about you?"

Jon returns the hug quickly, briefly, doesn't let himself cling. He thinks, _Please, please, I'm so tired of_ \- but he doesn't even know what he's tired of. He steps away and reaches out impulsively to run a hand over Brendon's hair. "Sleep well," he says hoarsely. Brendon looks crushed, and Jon hates himself but he leaves before he can change his mind.

He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns for the few hours left until dawn, trying not to think of them down the hallway and how cold his bed is without Ryan in it – but that's stupid, he tells himself, it's summer, it's not _cold_. He used to sleep alone all the time, and Ryan's happy where he is.

But Jon is still awake when the birds start singing, and he gets up, changes his clothes, goes outside. There's always an endless list of chores to be done around the estate so it's easy to occupy himself for a few hours. He decides to repair the roof of the stable where some shingles blew off in a storm. The steady, mindless prying and hammering is just what he needs, and everybody leaves him alone. Once or twice the kids wave at him from the ground, but none of them offer to help and Jon's not surprised. Cash and Ian and the Alexes are the only kids still living at the manor, and they have many creative ways for avoiding any and all chores.

By the time he's finished, Jon's almost got himself convinced that it was no big deal, it was just a weird night and nobody will think anything of it. They've all got other things to worry about. But when he finally climbs down from the roof of the stable, he finds Ryan sitting on a bale of hay in the shade right beside the base of the ladder.

"Ryan?" says Jon.

Ryan smiles at him - sweet, real smile, and those aren't yet so common that Jon doesn't treasure every one - and holds out his hands invitingly.

Jon shakes his head and plucks at his sweaty, dirty shirt. "Let me wash first."

"You're fine the way you are," says Ryan. "Come here."

Jon hesitates only a second before he sits beside Ryan. Ryan immediately snuggles in closer and puts his arm around Jon's waist even though Jon is definitely not smelling of roses right now. "Is everything okay?" Jon asks.

Ryan gives him a look, and he says, "That's my line."

"What?"

"Is everything okay," Ryan repeats. "That's what I came to ask you." He leans in and kisses Jon's cheek. Jon licks his lips. "Well?" Ryan says softly, and puts his head on Jon's shoulder.

"Of course," Jon says. "Why wouldn't it be?"

It's a minute before Ryan answers. "Brendon says you didn't want to stay with us last night." He doesn't sound hurt or angry or even curious. He doesn't sound anything at all, just flat, hollow in that way he sounds when he's trying to hide, and it makes Jon feel as bad as Brendon's quiet _please_ had the night before.

"I," Jon begins, but he makes himself stop and think about what he's going to say, and marvel for a bit at the fact that Brendon told Ryan that, that they're open enough with each other now to have that conversation. Finally he says, "I didn't know you wanted me to."

"I don't like it when I wake up at night and Spencer's far away," Ryan says quietly. Now Jon can hear the emotion in his voice, the longing and remnant fear, and it makes his heart ache. Then Ryan goes on: "But I don't like it when you're far away either."

"Oh," Jon says.

Ryan exhales a short breath, not quite a laugh. "Brendon says I like to make things complicated."

Jon squeezes him in closer, and he thinks about the nights when they've kissed until he knows both of them are aching before Ryan pulls away. Sometimes it makes him crazy, makes him nearly angry, except Jon can't ever stay angry with Ryan. Maybe that's not healthy, but Ryan is Ryan, and Jon's loved him for - for what's only months but feels like longer - and Ryan is complicated and Jon loves that about him too.

"Should I stay? Next time?" he asks.

Ryan says, "Yes, please," at once.

Jon kisses the top of his head and says, "Okay." Brendon's asked him to. Ryan's asked him to. Jon has no idea what Spencer thinks of this, and that's not exactly a conversation he wants to have: "So, hey, these guys you love, who love you too, they think I should share your bed sometimes. What do you think?"

The trouble, Jon thinks, is that he still doesn't understand Spencer very well. Maybe it's easier to work out what's going on inside his head if you're already under his guard, one of the people he thinks he has to defend and protect - like Brendon, like Ryan. Jon can guess that Spencer won't say no to anything that Ryan wants, but that's not even close to the same thing as knowing what Spencer wants.

-

Spencer's started riding out with Lindsey when she goes over the border to trade horses - and to smuggle goods, and scout out slave markets for future operations - and he leaves again a few days later. He's only going to be gone for a night, but Ryan spends the whole day tense and silent, his lips drawn in a thin line and his knuckles white, and nothing Jon or Brendon says can draw him out of it. That night Ryan clings to Jon like his life depends on it, and Jon lets him even though he knows he'll have bruises in the shape of fingers in the morning.

The next day is even worse. The kids are too noisy, running around and fighting and shouting, and Brendon is too on edge to do much good controlling them. Brendon finally retreats to the music room with Mikey, and Bryar and Iero ban the kids from the house until they calm down, and Gerard's nowhere to be found, and Jon realizes he's barely seen Ryan all day.

It's getting dark and Spencer's still not back, so Jon heads outside and finds Ryan pacing anxiously in the overgrown garden. He stops on the crooked stone path and puts his hands in his pockets and waits for Ryan to notice him. Ryan doesn't say anything, just looks at Jon for a moment, his eyes wide and dark.

"It's a long ride," Jon says, gently. "Lindsey said they wouldn't be back before midnight."

Ryan only nods and continues pacing. His footsteps crunch on the weeds and grass, and somewhere around the other side of the house Cash is shouting, but he sounds far away, muffled. Jon stays with Ryan as the twilight fades into night. He doesn't go near, doesn't try to touch him until Ryan's exhaustion catches up with him. When his steps slow and his shoulders slump, Jon finally steps close, puts a hand on Ryan's shoulder, and says, "Let's go inside, okay? We'll keep Brendon company."

Ryan looks surprised, then guilty, and Jon knows he's thinking that he should have thought of that. He nods quickly, takes Jon's hand and follows him inside.

As Jon expected, Brendon is every bit as anxious as Ryan. But he's going about it in a distinctly Brendon-like manner, which means he's in the music room driving Mikey absolutely insane talking and bouncing and twitching with the effort of trying to hide how worried he is. Mikey looks kind of pathetically grateful when Jon says, "Hey, Brendon, come on downstairs for a bit," and Jon makes a face at him but doesn't say anything.

They go down to Jon and Ryan's room, where Ryan is waiting. He's sitting on the bed with his legs drawn up, looking toward the window as though he expects to hear hoof beats on the drive any minute.

"It's still early," Jon says. He knows he can't say anything that will help; he's spent enough nights of his own waiting for somebody to come back, not knowing if they've been caught or killed, frustrated because there's nothing he could do. But he tries anyway. "It's hours until they're overdue," he says. "There's no reason to worry yet."

There's nothing to do but wait.

Jon doesn't know what to say, so he just holds onto Ryan - Ryan needs holding, sometimes, need anchoring to the here and now so he doesn't drift off into dark imaginings - while Brendon flings himself backwards onto Jon and Ryan's bed, bounces a couple of times, turns over and hides his face in the pillow, turns over again and stretches, sits up, lies down again, sits up, and finally covers his face with his hands and whispers, "Sorry."

Ryan looks up from where he's got his face hidden against Jon's collarbone and says, "Brendon."

And then – and Jon's actually surprised, he's startled when Ryan does it – he disentangles himself from Jon and goes over to wrap his arms round Brendon's waist. Brendon lets out a deep shuddering breath but he's still tense, and Jon can't think what else to do, so he goes over to them too, and holds onto Brendon from the other side.

After a few minutes, after Brendon is a bit calmer, a bit quieter, Ryan says in a low voice, "We're being stupid. It's not eleven yet."

Jon knows Ryan doesn't truly believe it himself, but he sounds like he's determined to convince Brendon, like at least _someone_ ought to be comforted.

Spencer and Lindsay don't get back until half past one. As half an hour stretches into an hour, an hour ten, an hour fifteen, Jon is aware of a bitter taste at the back of his mouth and dull, aching fear in his gut. Brendon gets stiller and stiller and Ryan eventually starts to shake, and Jon holds onto them both, tries to hold them together.

When they heard the horses coming up the drive, it's such a surprise it's a second before the staggering relief hits him. Jon bolts upright, and they all scramble off the bed at once, which leads to Jon and Brendon tripping over each other and nearly falling, but they recover and rush for the door. There are voices in the entry hall already when they reach the stairs - the Ways are both night owls, they were probably awake anyway - and the front door is opening.

When Spencer comes in he looks a little surprised to see them all on the stairs, gaping down at him, but he's smiling and he looks healthy and unhurt, tired but actually - Jon blinks, surprised - actually a little cheerful, like he's been enjoying himself.

His smile fades quickly when he sees them. "What's wrong?" Spencer says, sharply.

"Oh my god, you're an _idiot_ ," Brendon says. He trips down the last few steps and throws his arms around Spencer.

"My horse, I have to -" Spencer begins, but then Ryan is standing right next to him too, opening his arms to hold on tight.

"I'll take care of your horse," Jon says. He shakes his head and smiles, and he pats Spencer's shoulder as he goes by. "Glad you made it back safely."

Spencer's horse is actually Gerard's horse, a new one he bought it at the beginning of the summer, but Gerard hates to ride and Spencer loves to, so everybody knows she's pretty much Spencer's by now. The stable is warm and quiet in the lamplight, and Jon takes his time currying her coat and brushing her down, giving her food and water and making sure everything is in its place. And back inside he takes his time talking to Lindsey. He asks her about what they saw, what contacts she made, what ideas she has. Smugglers, Jon has realized, make excellent secret operatives, or at least they do now that they're all talking to each other and working for the same goal.

When Jon finally heads upstairs again, he's tired and tense, glad the day ended well but also so, so glad it's over, and he fully expects Ryan to stay with Brendon and Spencer tonight. But there's no light coming from underneath Brendon and Spencer's door, no voices from the room, so Jon keeps walking. He hears Brendon's laughter and Spencer's voice and he thinks, _Oh. Oh, okay._ They're in his room. His and Ryan's.

He hesitates for just a moment before he pushes the door open. He's not an outsider, not really. He knows that. He doesn't know why some part of his heart still thinks he must be - because he wasn't there, maybe, because he never went through what they went through in the markets and the caravans, the auctions and the owners’ houses.

But when he opens the door they all look up, they all smile - even Ryan, even Spencer - and it's Brendon who leaps to his feet and says, "Come here, Jon Walker."

Jon takes Brendon's hand and lets himself be pulled down to sit on the bed. He leans across to kiss Ryan on the mouth before he turns his attention to getting his damn boots off. There's a fire on the hearth and the room is warm, soft in the light from the flames. Once Jon has kicked his trousers off too, he turns to the others and finds Brendon and Ryan already curled up under the covers together, side by side.

Spencer's not. Spencer's waiting for Jon, watching, and he looks at Jon with clear eyes and says softly, "Hey, I didn't get a hug."

Jon snorts. "Yes you did," he says. "Liar."

"Not from you," says Spencer.

Jon waits just a second - he doesn't know why, he shouldn't need to think about it - and then holds out his arms.

Spencer hugs Jon tight, holding on for longer than Jon expects, and when he pulls away he looks down, his hair falling over his face as he smiles shyly, and says, " _Now_ can we sleep? I'm exhausted."

Ryan reaches up to tug Spencer down. Jon stands beside the bed for a moment, but he meets Ryan's eyes and Ryan raises one eyebrow, a silent but very pointed, "Well? What are you waiting for?"

So Jon joins them. There isn't much space. Jon doesn't really speculate much about the reason for all the large beds with bat-and-skull embossed headboards in the Way house, although he's fairly certain Gerard would be more than happy to share the story of all his ancestor's peccadilloes if Jon asked, but he's glad for it now. There's a lot of shifting around and arranging of limbs until suddenly Jon has more room. He's just closed his eyes when there's a loud thump from the other side of the bed.

Brendon says, "Ow."

"Did you..." Spencer sits up to lean over and look. "You fell out of bed again?"

"Again?" Ryan says. "Does this happen often?"

"No," Brendon says quickly.

"Yes," Spencer says.

Ryan is twisting around to look at Brendon. He asks, "Are you okay?"

Brendon sits on the bed again, smiling sheepishly. "I'm fine. I just hit my elbow."

He rubs at his elbow a little bit. Ryan rolls over, puts his hand on Brendon's arm, and kisses his elbow. Then he rolls over again, curls up against Spencer, and closes his eyes. "Good night," Ryan says. It sounds more like an order than a pleasantry.

As he's crawling back under the covers, Brendon says, "Wait, don't fall asleep yet."

Ryan says, "Mmph?"

Brendon leans down and kisses him quickly. Then he leans over Ryan and kisses Spencer as well, threads his fingers through Spencer's hair and murmurs, "I'm glad you're back." Jon watches and feels a sudden stab of undirected jealousy, like he's a kid again fighting with his brothers or with Tom, crying to his parents, _It's not fair!_

Brendon looks up and meets Jon's eyes. Jon can't make out much of his expression in the dim light from the fire. Brendon very carefully leans over Ryan and Spencer - causing Ryan to grumble and Spencer to say, "Ow, watch your elbow" - and puts his hands on Jon's face. The kiss is quick and soft and Brendon is smiling.

"Goodnight kisses, guys," he says. "Very important."

"Very important," Jon agrees, softly.

Ryan says plaintively, "Go to _sleep_." Spencer doesn't say anything at all.

Jon lies down beside Spencer, against Spencer's back, and moves a little closer, mindful of how near he is to the edge of the bed. Spencer's warmer than Ryan and not anywhere near as bony and it's - it's kind of nice, being squished up close together like this, listening to each of them breathe, to Brendon still shifting around under the blankets. Jon puts his hand on Spencer's back and he feels Spencer hold his breath for a second, then relax. Feeling suddenly bolder, Jon wraps his arm around Spencer's waist. His fingers brush over somebody else's - Ryan's or Spencer's, he doesn't know - and whoever it is catches his hand and holds on.

It's not exactly comfortable, and Jon's afraid somebody's going to fall off the bed again before morning, but they're all safe and here and he feels more settled than he has in a long, long time. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Spencer's shoulder and lets himself fall asleep.


End file.
